DJ COMMUNITY

What Black Women Really Want From Black Men

BY WALTER LEVY

ASK any Brother--young, old or somewhere in between--and it's a good bet that at some point in his life he either has been asked to answer or he himself has posed the enduring and puzzling question, "What do Black women really want from Black men?"

The age-old question has equally confounded Brothers, their fathers and their grandfathers while navigating through the pitfalls of relationships with their wives and lovers. Along the way, some men have responded to the question better than those who don't have a clue about what Black women want and expect from Black men when they become a twosome.

Black women say it's simple, and they don't understand why Black men don't understand and have such a tough time realizing what they want. So, Brothers, let's go directly to the source for the answer to what has become one of love's toughest and most persistent questions. If you ask Black women--from the corporate executive to the college student to the entrepreneur and all in between--you'll get a variety of answers, based on their personal, individual desires and needs. There's no mystery, they say, no surprise, no really unsuspecting entry on a wish list that includes love and romance, integrity, fidelity; communication, commitment. Although wish lists may vary from woman to woman, there is one common denominator--the one thing that most women need, desire and demand--appreciation, the foundation of any meaningful relationship. Without it, there is no romance, no fidelity, no integrity, no commitment, no trust, no lasting union.

If nothing else, more Brothers have to realize that appreciation is the one, single element that can lead to better, more substantial and lasting relationships between Black men and Black women. But before we paint an all-too-dismal picture, we have to point out that some of us get it right--maybe not often enough, but on many occasions there are Brothers who exhibit a deep and public appreciation for the strength, majesty and resilience of Black women.