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Your girls…where would you be without them? They can be your saviors in times of heartbreak and sadness. But sometimes, they can be your worst enemies, especially when it comes to your relationships. If your circle consists mostly of married or coupled up women, chances are they serve as great sources of information and wisdom in helping you deal with the opposite sex. But if you’re one of many single women in your click who have their own man problems, these women could be consciously – or unconsciously – negatively influencing your relationships without you even knowing it. Not sure if your friends are secretly ruining your relationship? Check for these signs that they may be hating on you.
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1. NO ONE IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH
Of course, your friends want the best for you; or, at least, they should if they care about you. But if they find fault with every guy you bring around, something isn’t right. Either you’re the worst judge of character and are attracted to nothing but trolls, or your friends are trying to discourage you from finding the perfect guy for you. Be honest: do you have a habit of choosing bad boys, men who are unavailable or who are just mean and obnoxious? If so, then your friends may be on to something. But if you get the sense that they’ll just never be satisfied with your dates, even though to you they seem to be perfectly good guys, then thinly veiled jealousy may be the reason your friends want you to break away from every guy you meet.
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2. THEY’RE JEALOUS OF YOUR MAN
Speaking of jealousy, sometimes your friends don’t want you to date because that means you may not have time for them anymore. You know how it is when you’re newly in love: you may start blowing off your friends in order to hang out with your new boo. It happens. If you’re the type to be up under your dude when you first start dating, then your friends may not appreciate it and will start to complain about how much time you aren’t spending with them. Next thing you know, they’re purposely saying or doing things to butt into your relationship. If you all are hanging out together, they may try to keep you occupied or vie for your attention to the point where your date may get annoyed. If this is the case, keep your friends out of your dates and away from your man until you know everyone is cool – and be sure to make time for your friends so that they don’t feel abandoned. They need you too
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3. THEY OFFER BAD ADVICE
Sometimes you need an objective ear to bounce things off of when you’re going through something with your boyfriend. But sometimes, your friends
offer up advice that is unsolicited and possibly bad because they’re trying to manipulate you into thinking or doing something that could jeopardize your relationship. If your friends are always encouraging you to dump or cheat on your man, beware. Sometimes ,it’s hard to tell when a friend is sincerely looking out for you or throwing shade, especially if it’s a friend you’ve had for years and whose opinion you trust. They’ll have you always thinking the worst and that you made the wrong choice in a man. But if they’re encouraging you to do something you find morally wrong or unjustifiable, then you may need to distance yourself from these “friends” who want you to do something that you may possibly regret
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4. THEY CONSTANTLY BRING UP YOUR EX
Sometimes your friends may try to sabotage your current relationship because they still wish you were with an ex. If they’re always bringing up an old beau, especially in front of your current one, stay clear of these so-called friends until they get your ex out of their system. Just because they thought he was good for you, doesn’t mean you have to tolerate listening to them bring him up every chance they get. If you’ve moved on, so should they, and they should respect your current relationship.
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5. THEY DISRESPECT YOUR MAN
Speaking of respect, if your girls disrespect your man to his face, these are not your friends. Period. It’s just wrong…and ratchet. If they ignore him, turn up their nose at him, roll their eyes every time he speaks or verbally attack or insult him, take your man, go and don’t look back. Even if they feel he’s not the right guy for you, they should never do anything that would make you look bad to him. Ever
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5. THEY DISRESPECT YOUR MAN
Speaking of respect, if your girls disrespect your man to his face, these are not your friends. Period. It’s just wrong…and ratchet. If they ignore him, turn up their nose at him, roll their eyes every time he speaks or verbally attack or insult him, take your man, go and don’t look back. Even if they feel he’s not the right guy for you, they should never do anything that would make you look bad to him. Ever.
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6. THEY DISRESPECT YOU IN FRONT OF YOUR MAN
It’s one thing to disrespect your date, but it’s something totally different when your friends disrespect you in front of him. This may mean they throw jabs, give backhanded compliments, put all of your business on blast about past guys you’ve dated, or flat out put you down in his presence. But true friends try to lift you up and make you look like a goddess in the eyes of any man you may be trying to impress. If they do the opposite, there are probably some “frenemies” in your circle who are jealous of you and don’t have your best interest at heart. Bounce these “friends”…quickly!
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7. THEY SPREAD YOUR BUSINESS
Most women talk to their girls about everything, so if you’re the type to kiss and tell, be careful of women who may gossip and spread your business to anyone who will listen, especially your new guy. If they know about your one night stand, your threesome or that STD you had to take a pill for, then you may get antsy when dealing with a new dude and your friends start running off at the mouth. It’s their way of having some sort of control over you, especially if they threaten to tell him all of your dirty little secrets. The way to solve this problem is to keep your business to yourself. They can’t tell what they don’t know.
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8. THEY FLIRT WITH YOUR MAN
Along the same lines of disrespect, if your friends are jealous of you, they probably wish they had your man too. Be careful of friends who flirt with your man – either in front of you or behind your back. If they call him to just shoot the ish, constantly are all over him on social media or are trying to find other ways to inappropriately engage with him, then get rid of them, because someone’s trying to take your spot.
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9. THEY FLIRT WITH YOU
If you have a best friend who just happens to be a man, your boyfriend may already feel some type of way about that. But even if he’s secure, your male friend may try to make him feel insecure and awkward by being touchy-feely and flirting with you – and this is a situation you need to nip in the bud. Whether he flirts with you openly in front of your boyfriend or leaves suggestive comments on your Facebook page, it’s inappropriate and may leave your man wondering if anything ever went down between you and your so-called “friend.” Whether something happened between you or not, don’t let another man come between you and your current squeeze – so if that means blocking some folks, handle it!
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