Source: Shutterstock
When I first started out with my weight loss journey, all I really wanted was to be small enough to fit into a dress at Bebe.
No, really.
I’d gone into a store with one of my dear friends who was dress hunting, and I realized that I was far too large to fit into anything they sold there. I picked up a flowy top with dolman sleeves, thinking that it – with its mass sheaths of fabric and large neckhole – would fit me, only to find that it wouldn’t even come past my shoulders. Even then, I didn’t necessarily “vow to lose weight,” but I did say that I’d “be back when I could fit into something in there.”
As I’d first started out, I didn’t really set a goal. I just knew that, since I’d hit my stride, I wanted to work as hard as possible and do as much as I could to get somewhere other than 330lbs. And I’d done exactly that. I put my nose down, and I did the work, with people asking me what my “goal” was the entire time.
It made me feel like something was wrong with me – my goal? Do I have to have a goal? Can’t I just do the work? I mean, the exercise was cathartic for me – working out to relieve stress and anxiety as opposed to, say, eating to relieve anxiety – and I didn’t want to give it a relative end date.
So, though I didn’t set a goal, I did decide on a number that I’d thought would look good on me. I didn’t attach myself to the idea of that being the “stopping” point for me, but I did say to myself that I’d be this drop dead gorgeous bombshell that stopped traffic once I got there.
That number came and boy, was I underwhelmed.
I didn’t look anything like how I thought I’d look once I’d reached that size. I didn’t have the definition, the sleek curves, none of it. I’d done the work, but it wasn’t targeted correctly to build the body I wanted, and quite honestly, I don’t know that I believe the body I wanted was available at that size for someone seeking to lose weight.
That’s the struggle with setting “goal weights,” though –- it perpetuates an attachment to the scale that isn’t even necessary. The reality of weight loss is that, no matter what your reasons for losing, you still want your efforts to result in you being happy with what you see when you look in the mirror, and that feeling isn’t always something that you can guarantee will come with any given number.
The funny thing about being in that Bebe store and feeling like my goal should’ve been to just look good in the dress, was that it was a meaningful yardstick to measure my progress – one of many. Measuring my health, how I feel about myself when I look in the mirror, my physical capabilities and quality of life? All of these were valuable measuring tools to gauge my progress, far more so than a number on a scale. It not only saved me the disappointment of clinging to a number that didn’t satisfy me when I looked in the mirror, but it made me comfortable with lifting weights – something that can, in some cases, cause you to gain weight instead of lose – in order to build the body I wanted.
You need to be a member of NASTYMIXX to add comments!
Join NASTYMIXX